An Arranged Marriage

This is a very short thought and quickly thrown together, but I wanted to post it while it was fresh in my mind and before I had time to elaborate and draw out of it every little detail. I think the thoughts are all biblical and I considered putting a verse with each thought but if you know the Word I think the verses alluded to will make themselves present within your mind. Happy reading!

Understanding election: an arranged marriage

I have come to think of election in the terms of an arranged marriage. Now depending upon how you feel about arranged marriages will largely influence you when you hear election put in those terms. For some, the thought of arranged marriages is wrong and evil and should never be practiced. For others, myself included, we have heard about the joy and love that has come from such relationships (though I am not advocating for them). One particular story has always stayed with me over the years, though the details elude me, but the gist of the story is this (and it is true to my knowledge): a women is betrothed to a man. She has no desire for this man, perhaps even she has feelings for another man, but either way, she has no say in the matter. She marries the man that she does not love. But the man loves her. She resists her husband in every way, basically making his life as miserable as possible. He continues to love her, patiently, kindly and forgivingly. After many years of this something begins to change in the women. The man’s love begins to soften her heart. She sees the sacrifice and determination of the man to love her. She sees the patience and kindness of this man that could have been done with her. She begins to see beyond what she thought she wanted to what she actually has. His love wins her. Her animosity is turned to gratitude. Her bitterness is turned to joy. Her sadness is replaced with companionship. Her loneliness is replaced with hope. She considers: if he has loved her so well in her enmity, how much more in her surrender. She now loves him not out of duty or prior arrangement, but out of an overflow of his love for her. Rather than marrying the man she thought she loved, she loves the man that loved her.

I see so many parallels in this story to the gospel: are we not the wayward women, betrothed to one man while pursuing another? Are we chosen for Christ though we have no desire for Him? Do we not resist Him at every turn? Do we not fight against Him and reject His love? Does not His love win us over? Do we not find ourselves in love with the One that loved us so well? Do we not serve out of gratitude, joy and hope? Do we not see that the one we thought we loved cannot compare to the One that loves us so well?

And yet, it is grounded in election. We were chosen, even against our wills. We were loved, when we hated. We were accepted when we rejected. We were all given to the world and wanted nothing but the world but we were chosen for Another. And even in our marriage to Christ, how often we look back over our shoulders at the one we left and wonder what could have been, or perhaps we have even been unfaithful within our marriage and gone back to the world, yet even so, our Husband remains faithful and true. He loved us before we were His, how much more now that we are. And even as the husband in the story patiently loved his wife, how much more has Christ loved His bride by laying down His very life for her, even when she was opposed to Him.

Are we not Gomer and Hosea? Are we not Israel and Egypt? Are we not Lot’s wife? Are we not Ezekiel 16? Certainly we are, and the only answer, the only cause for hope we have, is in Christ’s electing, marriage-arranging, love.